Tribute Band Rant #1

So I went to see Chopin the other night. Only I'm pretty sure the fellow at the piano wasn't a 218-year-old Polish dead guy.

Then it dawned on me: Almost all classical music concerts are just shows featuring really good tribute bands. Close your eyes and you can swear it's really Chopin. They sure nailed every note just like it was written.

Except these orchestra folks don't bother trying to look like the original artists. It's not like a Beatles tribute band (which there are more of than ants in my kitchen or political rants on Facebook) where they don new costumes and wigs every half hour to visually personify the Liverpudlian lads during the group's various phases. Not that I'm fooled. I know the gent playing "George" is really a bald Latino named Javier who does Uber in his Prius Tuesday through Thursday. But then again, chances of a full reunion of the real Beatles are a bit less than slim these days. So ya do the best with what you got, I suppose.

Then again, saw a Beatle band up in Fresno and they had a black, right-handed "Paul." That didn't stop them from three costume/wig changes.

The costume/wig thing probably wouldn't fly at the Hollywood Bowl with Chopin guy. Imagine him bursting onto the stage as the precocious teen Frederic (or is it Fryderyk?) tearing into Rondo in C minor as the opening tune. A half hour later, you get Freddy in his late 20s/George Sand era wearing signature bow tie and overcoat as he runs through a crapload of preludes. BTW, how many preludes must you complete before it's safe to get into the ludes? Then the concert winds down with the sickly Chopin, looking even paler than Hugh Grant in Impromptu - still sounding good, but really struggling to get through that last mazurka unscathed.

Nope, that wouldn't do. But I'd be okay with a portly, one-legged, elderly Native American woman playing the part of John Lennon as long as she wears the granny glasses and white suit during Imagine.

https://medium.com/@briansimonmusic/tribute-band-rant-1-43da9fe92bbe